And the Winner is…..

Everyone has heard the phrase, “if you love your job, you’ll never have to work a day in your life.” Cool…now i have to find a job that i love with a bachelor’s degree that is more common than not in a dog eat dog world. EASY!

My whole life my parents put such an emphasis on education. I got in trouble for my grades over anything. So, when i graduated high school, i didn’t have much of a choice but to attend college. After all, that’s what you’re supposed to do. Wrong. Do what you love. I have a BS in psychology because i wanted to help people. That degree is hanging on my wall…the only thing it’s helping is dust bunnies find a home. For the longest time i thought i had to have that degree to matter, to make an impact on the world. I wish someone would have told me otherwise. I can make an impact by writing, by being passionate about something, by living a life i’m proud of.

While, yes, some degrees very much so help people and you have to have them to practice. But school does not make you better or worse than anyone. As i am fixing to launch my business, i feel so far away from that bachelor’s and closer to what i want to do for the rest of my life.

As i’m watching The Grammy’s, i feel hopeful. These people chased their dreams, got rejected and didn’t quit. Ed Sheeran once tweeted, “Give me a few years. I’ve got some big plans.” That was in 2011….

John-Mayer-Ed-Sheeran-Grammys-3

GUESS WHAT?? He’s doing pretty damn well for himself beside Mr. Mayer here in 2015! Know why he’s beside a legend? Because he didn’t take no for an answer. He kept playing pubs and bars until he made it. He got rejected. He got told he wasn’t good enough to play in America. He. did. not. quit.

Don’t quit. Follow your heart and follow it whole heartedly. Open that coffee shop, travel the country, become that makeup artist, body builder, hair dresser, full time scuba diver. Don’t let anyone tell you that you won’t make it. Someone told me that you don’t have to have money to make money, you have to believe in what you’re selling and have other people invest in your ideas and you’ll always make it. network. network. network. Empower each other. My friends and family supporting me is the biggest encouragement. When someone tells me my blog helped them, i know i’m on the right path.

Stick with your gut. Support peers. Take a leap of faith. PRAY. Trust yourself. Leave that comfort zone and don’t ever, ever quit.

XO,

B

Fight or Flight

It’s been a crazy week! First off, I want to thank everyone for taking the time to read my blog. It’s so amazing to get such wonderful feedback from family, friends and strangers. Y’all rock.

I’ve thought a lot about this post. It’s weird sharing personal things when I know everyone will read them and this is SO different for me.

Having a background in psychology makes me apply it to everything. Most people have heard of the “fight or flight” response. Saying, animals and humans have an innate ability to either face a problem and fight it or run (flight) when they feel threatened. I can’t help but to apply this to relationships. What’s worse than being in a relationship where you fight all the time? Being in a relationship where you fight then run.

One of the things I can’t get out of my head is the Hozier song, “Work Song”. If you haven’t listened to it, please do.
In the chorus he says, “When, my, time comes around lay me gently in the cold dark earth. No grave can hold my body down, I’ll crawl home to her”
The first time I heard those lyrics, I played it over and over again.

Music gets me. I feel more things emotionally from music than I can from most people. But, those lyrics make me feel some type of way. I have been in a relationship where I thought the world begins and ends with that person. Where I thought death couldn’t keep me away from him. With that being said, it was the most toxic thing I have ever been inflicted by. Human beings are 110% more toxic than anything else.

My brother and I have had many talks about which is better, a relationship that makes you feel like you’re so dependent on that person or one that makes you feel like you have it all together but that person just adds to your already great self? I think we all are guilty of trying to shove different puzzle pieces into the same spot and expecting to get the same picture in the end. Every choice, relationship wise or not, will lead you to a completely different outcome.

My thoughts on the situation is that I don’t ever want to feel like I need someone. I want to share a life with someone, not make someone my whole life. I’ve done that and at the end of the day, when they chose to leave, they’ll leave you standing with nothing. Most of us have had that relationship where it feels like you’re on a pendulum. When it’s good, it’s really good. But when it’s bad, it’s WWIII. There should be a balance. Someone should make you the best version of yourself and not make you hate yourself for the things you said during that knockout round.

No two loves are the same. Some people think that kind of love is the love that’s worth it. The kind that makes you crazy and the kind you think you can never obtain. And I’ll admit, I thought so too. But, it is so exhausting. I have been in relationships where I thought I saw someone’s true potential, even after everyone told me to take flight. You can’t wait on someone to ascend to their greatness when they don’t see if for themselves. We get disappointed when people fall short of the role we created for them without them ever even knowing it.

After going from a damaging relationship from the screaming fights to the on and off like a light switch to being on cloud 9 when he finally called back– to a healthy, loving, supportive relationship, I can’t say that I would care to feel like Hozier again. That song touches me because I know exactly what he’s speaking about and I know that’s exactly the person I don’t want to be. No body that loves you will allow you to love them more than you love yourself. Read that over again. Let it resonate. So, answering my own question, which is better? I think as long as you have someone who gives you their time, who talks to you after a fight, who understands the madness inside you, who supports you, who waits for you while you’re out trying to find yourself then you will be just fine.

XO,

B